I think this thread is great, very informative.
I will tell you what I know, up the line pressure and the A8 will shift so hard it can break the tires lose on shifts and kill the pass. Turn off torque management and the clutches will get burned. Have the transmission do a lazy shift (for whatever reason) on the strip (on a hit) and it will burn the clutches (over time).
So that we are all on the same page, torque management is a fancy way of saying the PCM pulls timing for a milli second or so during the shift so that the torque is reduced, greatly reducing the wear on the clutches.
It has NOT BEEN demonstrated that any of the aftermarket built A8 are any stronger than the factory unit.
Your data log can tell how quickly the shifts were (are) and that can provide insight on whether the shifts are taking too long, causing excessive heat and wear. If the shifts are slower than published, test the solenoids (if possible) or replace them (if available). IMO, get the A8 back together, crank up the line pressure and data log. If the shifts are still slow, the problem is in the command or solenoids.
I do not have your skill set to rebuild my own A8 so my solution was to purchase a very low mileage A8 to just replace mine when it starts screwing up. I am treating them as throw away because they can be purchased with low mileage under 3K (much cheaper than rebuilding them).